TheDailyTickle.com

A forty-ish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watched her for a while and asks, ‘Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What’s the matter with you?’

The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, ‘I don’t care. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says I have the breasts of an 18 year old.’

The husband said, ‘What did he say about your forty-ish-year-old ass?’

‘Your name never came up,’ she replied.

A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for Christmas dinner.

This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.

They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.

The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her
nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost
making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to
relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.

It wasn’t loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.

Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend’s
father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the
woman’s chair, and said in a rather stern voice, ‘Skippy!’.

The woman thought, ‘This is great!’ and a big smile came across her
face.

A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain
again.

This time, she didn’t even hesitate. She let a much louder and
longer** rrrrrip. **

The father again looked at the dog and yelled, ‘Skippy!’

Once again the woman smiled and thought ‘Yes!’ A few minutes later
the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn’t even think
about it.

She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.

Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled,
‘Skippy, get away from her, before she shits on you!’