TheDailyTickle.com

1) Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence).
2) Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over,
the strings are still attached.
3) Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution
for the blind.
4) Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree
and the woman gets her Master’s.
5) Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman’s finger, and two
under the man’s eyes.
6) Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.
7) Marriage is not just a having a wife but also worries inherited
forever.
Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of “RINGS”:
* The Engagement Ring
* The Wedding Ring
* The Suffer-ring
* The Endu-ring
9) Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBORS listen.
10) It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an
eye-opener.
11) Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with
friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other
fellow has, you wish you had ordered that instead.
12) It’s true that all men are born free and equal-but some of them get
MARRIED!
13) There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found
himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and
found himself divorced.
14) A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives
and the wife takes.

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Panadol also has a generic name of Paracetamol. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Nurofen is also called Ibuprofen.
>
> The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of ‘cocktails’, ‘highballs’ and just a good old-fashioned ‘stiff drink’. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky Boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

    When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run
    to the end of his chain and gag himself.

    A penny saved is a government oversight.

    The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your
    body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

    The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
    replacement ..

    He who hesitates is probably right.

    Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ‘ XL.’

    If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.

    If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame.

    The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s
    really in trouble.

    There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it.
    For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t
    hurt.     
     
    Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ‘The’ and ‘IRS’ together
    it spells ‘Theirs.’
     
    Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age
    and start bragging about it.
     
    The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
     
    Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know
    ‘why’ I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads
    weren’t paved.
     
    When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
     
    You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
     
    Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
     
    First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then, you forget to pull up
    your zipper. It’s worse when you forget to pull it down.

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb).

The average man’s penis is three times the length of his thumb.

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person’s skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women reading this will be finished now.

Men who read this are probably still busy checking their thumbs.