Two cowboys were sitting in a bar when one asked his friend if he had heard of
the new sex position called rodeo.
His friend says no, what is it?
Well you mount your wife from the back, reach around and cup her breasts with
both hands.
Then say, “Boy, those are almost as nice as your sisters”.
Then see if you can hold on for 8 seconds.
Two blonde girls were working for the city public works
department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her
and fill the hole in.. They worked up one side of the street, then down
the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day
without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in
again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn’t
understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, ‘I’m
impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don’t
get it — why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind
and fill it up again?’
The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, ‘Well, I suppose it
probably looks odd because we’re normally a three-person team. But today
the girl who plants the trees called in sick.”
Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.
She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to, and are happy to, maintain the old custom.
Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, ‘Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?’
The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, ‘Land Mines.’
Smart women.
A man walked in to a bar after a long day at work. As he began to drink his beer, he heard a voice say seductively “You’ve got great hair!” The man looked around but couldn’t see where the voice was coming from, so he went back to his beer.
A minute later, he heard the same soft voice say “You’re a handsome man!” The man looked around, but still couldn’t see where the voice was coming from.
When he went back to his beer, the voice said again “What a stud you are!” The man was so baffled by this that he asked the bartender what was going on.
The bartender said “Oh, it’s the nuts–they’re complimentary.”
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.
The man says, “I’m sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’”
“But why?” asks the man.
“I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replies.
