TheDailyTickle.com

The queen of England was visiting one of Canada’s top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.

“Oh my god!”, said the Queen, “That’s disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???”

The doctor leading the tour explains, “I’m sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn’t do that five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly.”

“Oh, I am sorry” said the Queen.

On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job.

“Oh my God”, said the Queen, “What’s happening in there?”

The Doctor replied, “Same problem, better health plan.”

At a local college, there was a dance.

A guy from America asked the girl from Sweden to dance. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, “In America, we call this a hug”. She replies, “Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too.”

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, “In America, we call this a kiss”. She replies, “Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too.”

Towards the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her, and says, “In America, we call this a grass sandwich”. She says, “Yaaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too, but we usually put more meat in it.”

John and his date were parked on a secluded dirt road and started to make out hot and heavy.

The chick stopped and said, “I really should have told you this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.”

John pulled a twenty out of his billfold and proceeded to have his way with her.

After a cigarette, John just sat in the driver’s seat staring out the window.
The chick asked him, “Why aren’t we going anywhere?”

John replied,”Well, I really should have told you THIS earlier.” “I am actually a taxi cab driver, and the fare back to town is $25.”