TheDailyTickle.com

Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn’t have much luck until one
day, he comes across a Harley with a ‘for sale’ sign on it.

The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years
old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.

He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such
great condition for 10 years.

‘Well, it’s quite simple, really,’ says the seller, ‘whenever the
bike is outside and it’s gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It
protects it from the rain.’

And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her
parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.

But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, ‘I
have to tell you something about my family before we go in.’

‘When we eat dinner, we don’t talk. In fact, the first person who says
anything during dinner has to do the dishes.’

‘No problem,’ he says. And in they go.

Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge
stack of dirty dishes.

In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the
stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.

So he leans over and kisses Sandra.

No one says a word.

So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.

Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her
clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in
front of her parents.

His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and
her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom…..

Joe thinks to himself, ‘Geez, she’s got a great body!’

So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, pulls down her
panties, and screws her every which way right there on the dinner
table. After mom has a big orgasm, he sits down again.

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, the Mom is
pleasantly beaming.
But still, Total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to
rain.

Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his
pocket…

Suddenly the father jumps up and shouts….

‘I’ll do the fucking dishes!!!’

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.

Barbara Moore stood up and walked to the podium. She said, “I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Dave, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.”

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Dave must have experienced.

“Dave was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Dave’s scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.”

Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Dave.

“Now,” she announced in a quivering voice, “thank the Lord, Dave is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.”

All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, “I’m Dave Moore.” The entire congregation held its breath. “I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum.”