Old People Jokes
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
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Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you’re handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.
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Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: ‘And Mary rode Joseph’s ass all the way to Egypt .’
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Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you’re pregnant.
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Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly – wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
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Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow’s feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.
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Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don’t forget where they park your car.
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Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.
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Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
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Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
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Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: ‘Gosh, I remember these.
